Today, my housemate Alex witnessed a crime! so, naturally, i asked her a few questions to get the scoop on being an everyday crime fighting hero...
Emily: Hello Alex, I hear you witnessed a crime today! Gosh! Can you tell us about it??
Alex 'crime fighter' Humphry: Well, I was walking into the drycleaners and this group of ppl came roaring down Shoreditch High St - i think the robbers were at the front and some chasers behind. I then heard one yell - down here - and they all turned into our little lane. Great. They are probably hiding in our bins. Then there were about three cop cars doing laps of the blocks around here with their sirens on. All very exciting! But scary! Hold on to your handbags girls!!
E: wow! What were you doing at the drycleaners on a Friday morning? Don't you have a job?
A: I live in Shoreditch. Of course I don't have a job. That is sooooo conventional.
E: Oh. So what happened next!? Did you give chase? Did you call the police? Were you an everyday hero??!
A: Sorry I'm going to have to suspend this interview as I am off to have my fringe trimmed.
*** A long time later...***
A: As I was saying... there were a lot of witnesses so I didn't bother. Don't want to get in the bad books of the gangs around here anyway....
E: Yes, that's prob very wise. Do you have any other advice do you have out there for other young unemployed ladies interested in a life of crime fighting?
A: Well, before my recent trip to Morocco, my dad gave me some great advice which was 'cover up and don't eyeball the men'
E: I think there's something we can all learn from that, yes... Thanks for your time Alex.
A: My pleasure, happy to give back to the community