Today marks 6 months of london living. Gosh. They* say that after 6 months you feel settled and things get better and better from then. In the last week I went to see Roxette and was secretly PUMPED to discover they were supported by Darren Hayes of Savage Garden fame, who apparently has a new album out (?) but played truly, madly deeply do- which pleased me. I also purchased a shin length gigantic Michelin-man inspired down jacket which feels like wearing a giant doona around… so, honestly, I cannot imagine how the next six months can top that!
Oh goodie.
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| 6 months in.. |
So, in honour of our anniversary, here are 6 things I have learned about London so far…
1. mice.
We had (potentially have, but I follow a strict ‘ignore a problem and it disappears’ mindset) a mouse issue. yes. it is fair to say that we did not cope well with seeing a mouse. oh no. at about 11pm, louise and i were screaming and on top of the kitchen table basically acting out any cliche of woman vs mouse. So, then i went to the corner store (leaving louise wimpering on the table) which quite literally only sells milk, bread and FOUR different types of mouse traps (i think at this point i realised that perhaps our problem was not as uncommon as i'd thought...) I chose the least scary looking trap, which was a little sticky mat that the mice get stuck on. It seemed a lovely option. however, this plan was not well thought through, as about half an hour later the mouse got stuck on the sticky mat and made all sorts of horrible "i'm stuck on a sticky mat" mouse noises. It was horrible. Louise and I screamed, threw a bucket at the sticky mat (?), closed the door and sat on the kitchen table again. panicking. We then googled "what to do with a mouse stuck in a sticky mat" which revealed all sorts of horrible things about the fact that mice panic and have heart attacks and try and eat their own legs off to get free and apparently, the traps are so inhumane they are illegal in Victoria and Ireland. good god. So then, i suddenly have overwhelming love and affection for the mouse and want him to run free with his other mouse-y friends. it was a dark time at french place.
Eventually (as, in HOURS later) pip came home. amen. The google had made us experts on free-ing mice but, clearly, we lacked the balls to do anything about it. Pip took charge like Xena warrior princess and at 2am we were all outside pouring olive oil on the mouse to free him from the sticky mat. it was then revealed that he HAD HIS FACE STUCK TO THE STICKY MAT. his FACE. dear god. his little mousey FACE.
Eventually, we used a full bottle of olive oil to save him, and he scampered away (prob, straight back into our house...) and then we went back inside to find ANOTHER mouse in the sticky mat. we were better then second time (to be fair, it would be hard to be worse...)
I do not like mice.
2. the water is recycled. Oh. My friend Kym (who know lots of interesting things) recently told me that she read somewhere that the tap water has been through an average of 7 sets of kidneys before you drink it. SEVEN. Oh dear.
3. berries are brilliant, and cheap, and fresh and so so awesome.. but the beetroot weirdly comes in vacuum sealed bags and is expensive. Candice the personal trainer once gave me a list of eating rules, one of which was ‘no fruit after 6pm’… this is the only rule which I can actually remember because Pip has taken it on with gusto. No fruit after 6pm. Let’s eat cake instead. Candice said so.
4. flowers are fabulously cheap here. The Columbia Road flower market is lovely. I like how the flower sellers yell at each other and shout about how their flowers are better than the seller next doors. Yes. The last time we went there, I was befriended by a homeless man who had a performing dog and he told me all about the issues he has with his leg when it gets cold. indeed.
5. bullies exist. A few weeks back I was walking down the street minding my own business, when 2 teenagers walking towards me slowed down and one said “oh I love your shoes, where did you get them” and then as I opened my mouth to respond. They walked/ran off. I was BULLIED. On the street. By TEENAGERS. About my SHOES. How tragically awkward. ha.
6. The northern line tube is not worth the ink on the tube map, given the fact that it is ALWAYS closed, and frankly doesn’t actually go anywhere you want to go except kings cross… and when you do want to go there, it’s closed.
p.s- This is my new toothbrush holder. Isn’t it swell!? Its little monkey head holds my toothbrush then opens when I brush my teeth. He’s my favourite thing right now. hello monkey head. x
* so says my friend Elissa, who also raves about the crackers in London; considers them to be the best thing about the city. Yes. I like them ok, but elissa is bang up for a London cracker.
